How do you really feel about online dating?

There are a slew of simple statistics you can read about the current state of online dating. Like, the majority of people who do it are under 50, or 1 in 10 partnered adults met their partner on a dating app. But when it comes to questions like, was your experience online dating positive or negative? Or, are you looking for something serious or something casual? You will find no conclusive answers — the results are pretty much 50-50. So what’s behind all those mixed feelings? We tapped into our community to try to understand what they love and hate about online dating. What’s a healthy approach? What advice would they give? How is the experience different for men, women, and gender non-comforming people? What goes into curating their profiles and editing their photos? All of their answers and more, below.

Michaela, certified sexologist & intimacy coach: I think as someone who met their long term partner on an online dating app, I'm a pretty big supporter of using dating apps to meet people. I think the reason I really liked it was because I loved that it pushed me to get out of my social circles and meet people I probably was never gonna meet in my everyday life, especially as someone who can be really insular and introverted.

Kayla, social media director: So online dating right now sort of feels like a trash can fire that was thrown into a dumpster fire that was then dropped into a forest fire. *laughs* It's like this circus of unrealistic expectations and instant gratification and it honestly feels like a rat race.

Alyx, celebrity hairstylist: I love it. And I hate it. *sighs* I love the ease of access of finding potential people that I could be interested in. I will say though, because of the ease, I feel like it leads to a lot of casual flings and hookups which is fine from time to time. But it can be hard to weed those out and find people who are genuinely interested in dating. 

Hannah, yoga teacher & sound healer: As someone who was dating online and celibate by choice, I had the opportunity to chat with guys and get a glimpse into their character before deciding to go on a date. Then while on the date, when the topic of sex came up, I felt good knowing that either this person will accept it or move on.

Halleta, writer: I really love online dating, I think it's a really cool resource to have and it just makes it so easy to find hot singles in your area. *laughs* No, but on a serious note. Obviously, you have to be careful. And you know, a lot of time can be wasted. And it's not always incredible people that you meet. But I think for the most part, when you get the hang of how you want to converse with people and what kind of people you're looking for, I think it's an incredible experience. But I think it's really important to not have too many expectations and more so just look at it as a way to meet people – like an extension of meeting people in real life.

Miranda, elementary school teacher: I honestly wouldn't have a dating life if I wasn't on an app. I think if you go into it with zero expectations and mindful of your dating boundaries, you can really meet quality people. Also, I know most of us can be pretty busy during the week so having these cool opportunities to chat with different types of people and feel them out before putting in that effort to meet up is one of the best things of online dating.

Zoey, digital marketing manager: I don't really know any other way. I've never been the type of girl who has been approached by strangers and asked out in public. It could be because of my resting bitchface. I'm not a standard size. I'm a bit in the zillennial cusp of people who grew up with the internet. I remember a time without it, but when it comes to dating, I've never dated without it. I do kind of hate apps as they kind of gamify the search for a relationship and they provide an unlimited pool of applicants. It can make you, as a user, feel like you're sifting through resumes and going on job interviews.

How much of your dating life revolves around an app? How do you feel about that? 

Miranda: Someone please give me tips and tricks because I don't know how to go on dates without an app. Literally, my whole dating life has been with men from an app. I don't know if that is sad or modern. I fantasize about meeting a guy out grocery shopping, at a bar, maybe grabbing coffee. But unless you’re somewhere social every day, how else would you meet people? I'm a teacher and I don't have the time or money to be super social every night.

Halleta: So honestly, the majority of it used to revolve around apps but lately, I've been really enjoying meeting people in real life. But I honestly don't really know what's changed because I'm now suddenly meeting people in real life that I'm interested in dating and I feel like that wasn't the case before. But then again, I was always going to bars and trying to meet people because that's where people say you should meet people. I now spend more time in places where I'm going to express my passions. Those are the places that I've been meeting people. I'll go to poetry readings or go see a musician I really love. I find that as I've been prioritizing my passions and going to places where people have similar passions, I then start meeting people that I'm interested in dating who I think are cute, too, and I'm like oh, this is where they are!

Alyx: As someone that is gender non-conforming and that is heavily femme leaning and assigned male at birth, it's kind of hard for me to find matches in person because there's a few things that I obviously have to disclose beforehand. I do often get female passing vibes from people so people oftentimes don't even know that I am gender non-conforming. It's pretty hard because I obviously want to protect myself from potential harassment or violence and also even having to go through the mental strain of telling someone that I'm assigned male at birth. A lot of straight men tend to gravitate towards me and are attracted to me because of my culturally accepted and understood hyper-femininity between my makeup, hair, wardrobe and heels and all that. So every time I have to tell someone like, Hey, I have male anatomy, you can only imagine having to tell someone that in person is probably a little bit more scary than having to tell someone over a keyboard on your phone. So dating apps, kind of protect me in that way, where I I can tell someone over the phone, over my dating app, and they'll just unmatch me and it'll be fine and there's less chances of harassment or awkwardness and embarrassment and no apologies have to be exchanged.

Zoey: My whole dating life is on the apps – I've probably used all of them at this point. Tinder, I quickly kind of ruled out for myself – I've never really found anyone great from Tinder. But Bumble and Hinge have been nice. I've also used Feeld, which is a really interesting option because I think it has a bit of a reputation for just being for people who are polyamorous or who are looking for a unicorn for the threesome. I think I'm really drawn to it because when you sign up for the app, it gives you 20+ options for what your sexuality is and for what your gender identity is. And so in my mind, I think the kind of person who I could find on that app is someone who could be on the sexuality spectrum in some way or have a wider definition of what their gender identity is. And maybe they don't identify with being non-binary or queer themselves, but they're open to meeting people who might be and that's an open mindedness that I enjoy. So Feeld is a really interesting app as well. And I think that of the relationships I've had from dating apps, and the people I've met, those are always the people from Feeld actually – they're the ones who impress me the most with just the kind of conversations we can easily get into and the depths of their interests.

How does your approach to dating online differ from your approach to dating offline?

Halleta: I think there are people that I've gone on dates with in real life that if I saw their dating app, I would have swiped no, just because… I don't know, you can't really show a lot of someone's energy or someone's charisma on a dating app. I'm way more picky just because I really don't want to waste my time, which you obviously can't predict. But you can get really good at making sure you enjoy it at least a little bit.

Alyx: I think I have a lot of fear of approaching people offline because I fear rejection a lot based on my appearance, gender, sexuality, and even race. It's a big portion of why I have reservations of going up to people in person. And perhaps these are all issues that I need to work on. But dating online really helps me cut through the bullshit and be really direct because at that point, we've already matched, we've already swiped right on each other so I already know if they're interested in me, physically, at least so far. I think they say it's easier to hide behind the keyboard and I think that that's very much the case.

Do you think a single and looking person who's not on a dating app is at a disadvantage, why or why not? 

Michaela: I think if you're someone who knows that you are not a dating app person, that's a really important thing to know about yourself. Dating apps can be really draining. I don't think that our brains have evolved to see that many people and intake that much information in a day and the way that we gamify it I do think can be harmful. However, I am through and through a data driven girlie and at one point I got out my journal and a pen and sat down with a dear friend of mine and we made a list of all the people that we know that are in relationships that we would say are beautiful, expansive, healthy relationships. And we listed how they met and it came back 50/50 – either were introduced through friends or via dating app. And I think the reality is that the more you are entrenched in your friend group and the longer you've been friends with that friend group, you most likely know all the people they know as well and it's very unlikely that they're going to be introducing you to new people. So I would say unless you are making new friends, and they're introducing you to new friends or acquaintances, yes – you are closing the door on something to not be seeking what is potentially on dating apps and how it can open you up to an entire new community of people or communities of people.

Miranda: I think they are definitely at a disadvantage. I have the single and looking types of people in my life and I love them dearly but I get frustrated with them when they vent about being single and not being able to meet anyone when they haven't even given a dating app a chance. An app may not be for everyone – I know that. But if someone has been single for a while, I don't see any harm in downloading and creating a profile. I think trying to meet someone organically being out and about is great and all but hard and maybe overly romanticized in this day and age.

How do you think online dating is different for women than men? 

Zoey: I mean, dating in general, as a woman, is always an issue of safety. I feel like I match with guys and they will be like, Oh, do like wanna come over and have a bottle of wine in my house? And I'm like, No, we definitely need to meet in public first. Why would you even suggest that? Don't you know that it's dangerous for a woman to go to a strange man's house who she doesn't know? And I think that as women, you have to get very good at spotting shifts in energy. One time, I went on a date with a guy who was like, double whammy of bad. But I met with this guy. He seemed cute. We had some wine by the Seine on a sunny afternoon, it was very nice. He was charming. And he was like, I have an idea – what if we go to a cheese shop and get every French cheese you haven't tried yet. And we will take them back to my apartment, make a little cheese board and you can try every French cheese you've never had before. And that seemed so intricate of an idea beyond like, oh, let's just get a bottle of wine and go back to my place. It seemed so thoughtful and excited and outside the norm that I was not as alert as I should have been. And I was like, You know what, that sounds so nice. And so fun that he wants to share his culture with me. And it's a wholesome cheese tasting activity. Why not? So we get the cheese, we go back to his apartment. And he reveals… He's like, by the way, I'm not actually 35. I just put that on my profile because I know girls have a range of ages that they are looking at. I'm actually 40. And I was like, Oooh, ok… I mean, a little bit older than I was looking for which is a bit upsetting, but also the fact that you lied on your profile I find upsetting. I don't really like dishonesty at all. I don't want to pursue things with someone who was dishonest from the jump before we even said a word to each other. So strike one. And then I was trying to assure him… I'm like, I don't think your age matters a lot. I think that being honest matters more. And he's like, well, in the name of honesty, I have something else I feel like I can really share with you. I've always had a fantasy about kidnapping a woman and keeping her in my apartment until she falls in love with me. And I was like, holy shit. Why did you feel like you could tell me that? I'm literally a girl in your apartment right now. This is our first day, we met three hours ago. Why on earth would you tell me that? Instant fight or flight. I was like, I have to get out of here but I didn't want to to spook him enough that he would get violent and I was like oh, I mean yeah, that's like a really normal roleplay fantasy for a couple that's been together for a while and wants to spice things up… By the way... I'm super tired. I'm gonna go home. And he was kind of like, what? No, why are you leaving? And I was like, No, I really need to go home, I’m so so tired and I literally just bolted. It's not great out there for a woman, period. But online dating I think you just always have to be pretty careful.

Barbie, director of creator relations: I don't think cishet men worry about being murdered on the first date. Not much else to be said there.

Zoey: So yeah, I guess this kind of goes into the other question. 

How often do you find that the person you matched with online matches up with the person you meet IRL? Tell a quick story about that.

Zoey: Yeah, this guy online seemed super nice and then he turned out to be like a kidnapper… So that was not great. But often, I feel like guys online, they don't really know how much of themselves to put on their profile. A lot of guys look better in person than their pictures because a lot of guys just don't know how to take great pictures of themselves. I've often been pleasantly surprised that the person in front of me is even more attractive than their pictures.

Michaela: I also started implementing a FaceTime date before an in-person date. I really loved that - it let me understand a little bit more about someone's mannerisms, their energy levels, how they spoke to me, how they spoke about other people and about themselves. And I think it was just really telling.

Miranda: I've been pretty lucky that all of the men that I've matched have been quality. They've been so good looking, cuter in person even, and personalities seemed to meet their bios pretty well. My first week being single on a dating app, I went on a date with a hot nurse at a nice restaurant and I came out of that date, like, Whoa, there are men out there from an app that really put an effort on a first date and it made me super, I don't know, optimistic, I guess.

Cynthia, small business owner: I just know that in person they seemed more aware of how they were being perceived and less in tune with a conversation or asking questions or just being forthcoming with information. It was giving more interview vibes than anything else, which is a stark contrast to how they would present online where there were a lot of jokes, conversation flowed, there seemed to be more of a curiosity. So I made it a point to really not talk to people as much online before meeting in person. So let's fast forward to a few years ago, I'm living in Dallas, and I am on Hinge and Hinge is where I met my boyfriend. So we matched and probably had one or two conversations on the app before exchanging numbers. And then I remember I gave him my number and a couple of days later, he just FaceTimed me out of the blue. And I remember thinking that was really weird. But I was also kind of into it. Because I was like, Yeah, I would much rather that then, you know, meet you in person and be disappointed. 

If you were writing a guidebook for online dating, what are some of the things that would be in it?

Halleta: I would just say adjust your idea that you need something to come out of any of the dates you go on, or any of the people that you match with. Just look at a dating app, as I don't know, just like a room where you can go up and talk to someone and see if you vibe. I think it's important if we look at dating apps, not like a game, or a winning game. Sometimes I think we can get into the headspace – even myself – of trying to win someone over or get more matches, just looking at it as like, you did something wrong if someone doesn't like you, but that's not true. It's really just like temperature checking to see what's the chemistry like with this person?  What's the chemistry like with this person? Do I connect with this person? Do I want to be friends with this person? I think that's one of the main things that I would put in my guidebook.

Michaela: I heard this somewhere and I don't know, this one rings true through and through. If they have a photo of themselves as a child or a baby on their profile, it probably means that is their emotional age – that's how old they are emotionally. If he has a photo of him at seven years old, he's probably still seven years old emotionally. And I don't know, that one was accurate every time. And I say this last one with humor. But if his profile says he's a Buddhist, and he wasn't raised Buddhist and came to it later in life, he's going to try and convince you to be in a polyamorous relationship. I don't make the rules. That's just how it is.

Kayla: Your only job when you're first starting to date someone is to have fun and collect data. And I think that's a really good way to take the pressure off yourself to be looking for your perfect match right away. I would also say to know your red flags and know your non-negotiables and cite them frequently but be flexible. You can't be too close off if you're looking to find a connection. And try to show up as equals. I think as women we're either doing way too much in the way that we show up in a relationship or we're like praying to God for someone that is competent and can take charge and where we can just take a total backseat for once and be the ones getting taken care of but in reality, it's healthy to look for someone who will meet you in the middle and show up as equals.

Halleta: Wait, I also want to add something. I would say if someone doesn't respond to you, get the hint and don't… I guess you can respond a couple more times to see maybe if they just forgot to message you. But if someone's not responding, they're just not interested. Don't personalize it too much and just move on. There are so many other people to focus on. I think that's something that really bothers me – people that feel entitled to your conversation.

Zoey: Be ready to go on some bad dates, it's going to happen. And it doesn't say anything about you as a person. A red flag is like if a guy's profile is like everyone else's. If he says that he is competitive about everything, and he loves The Office, and he wants to debate you about pineapple on pizza, do not swipe on this guy. He sounds boring as hell. If you're looking for something that has potential to last more than one night, you want someone who put some thought into their profile and wrote some thoughtful responses. Short, basic profiles, no. Do’s for me, from a woman's perspective, is I try to fit some of my sense of humor in there, as well as some of my genuine interests. So I will mention something that's a bit obscure. And it's kind of like an if you know, you know, kind of thing, because I think that will attract the right person, or at least a curious person. They might just swipe and be like, what does this mean? You seem cool, I want to know what you're into. This is a reference I don't know. And if someone is swiping and they're a curious person, curiosity is a trait that I enjoy in someone I'm dating so that's a good sign. I also try to make sure that my pictures are very clear. A picture with friends is nice to prove that you have friends, but I really try to keep my pictures just me – I don’t want there to be any confusion about whose profile it is. And as a woman who's mid to plus size, I always try to make sure I'm including a full body photo as well, just because I know that is important to people for them to gauge their level of attractiveness to you. And it's a sore spot in some ways, because you have the kinds of guys on apps who have no interest in someone who is not a standard size. You also have guys who fetishize women who are not standard size and are specifically looking for something like a casual one-time conquest vibe to try something subversive or outside the norm, when I don't want to be fetishized for it. So that's something I have to look out for. But I also don't want anyone to feel like I'm catfishing them and not being honest about my size. So it's something that I do try to be thoughtful with when I include a full body picture.

Alyx: I would say make sure you're upfront and honest in your bio about terms of your physical appearance and all the stats that you provide. I wouldn't provide any photos with extreme editing or filters, even if it's just for fun, because remember, you're gonna be going out with people that you're matching with and meeting them in person and you're not going to be able to hide behind a filter. There's no editing going on in person and the right person for you is not going to care about a minor blemish or acne scar imperfection, per se. So if you go crazy with editing and then you show up and you have all these things or don't necessarily match the photos that you put online, then you can't really be offended if they don't find you a match, per se. I also think that it's super helpful if you are on the sexuality spectrum at all or gender spectrum at all that you state what it is. I don't think it's necessary. But I always say that I'm pansexual and gender nonconforming because I think it helps weed out the people who aren't about that life. And because I am female passing at times, especially on the dating apps, a lot of people don't read my bios, but I'm always there to clarify like, hey, just so you know, you read my bio – I'm gender nonconforming and pansexual. And a lot of times that definitely weeds people out and they unmatch me from there which is fair. It's cool – if that's not something you're cool with, great, let's move on and be on with our lives. 

Michaela: I was pretty curated with my profile in terms of trying to portray myself as realistically as I could. I definitely use that little equation of one photo where I felt like I looked my best and most attractive and that reflected how I feel I look to the world. One photo of mine was actually a video of me showing off my goofy side. And then one photo that was definitely a little thirst trappy. And I felt like the photo that people chose to engage with told me a little bit about them or what they were looking for.

Kayla: I think my biggest thing is – try to sprinkle in a couple photos where maybe you feel a little bit more vulnerable. Maybe that picture where you're not hiding your winter weight behind that long trench coat, or you're showing off your naturally textured hair that you haven't straightened or maybe you're at the beach with a little less makeup, and you can see your acne scars because I think the guys that are going to swipe on those – that's already a pretty good indicator, right? That they're not super obsessed with looks and they're willing to still find beauty in some of the things that you might consider flaws. And I think that's a really great thing to look for in a man.

How does online dating differ for people who are looking for something serious versus something casual?

Halleta: I would say if you are looking for something casual, I think it's easier to utilize dating apps in a freer way just because you don't have as many expectations. And there are so many different types of relationships that can come out of who you're meeting – you might make a new friend, you might find someone who's a creative collaborator, you might find someone who you just like to go get drinks with and hang out. I don't know, I think it's cool thinking about not everyone has to be your end goal person. And I feel like you would get more discouraged when you're looking for something serious. I feel like it's one of those things where the moment you really want something and you're really looking for something, you're not going to get it. So if you just kind of relax and be like, Okay, I'm just down to meet people, a good connection might arise because there's not as much pressure.

Alyx: If you are looking for something casual, state that. And if you are looking for something more serious, state it. Don't be afraid to ask like, Hey, what are you looking for? on whatever the dating app that you're using is because it kind of helps – be more direct. You don't want to waste your time having an hour long conversation so I would get it out of the way. 

Zoey: I'm someone who's definitely looking for something serious. I am a romantic. I love love. And I’m really looking for someone who can be my partner in life and that's something I try to make very apparent from the jump. I find lots of guys I match with are not looking for the same thing. They're not looking for anything serious. Or some guys say that they're open to it and then you meet them in person and they're like, Okay, I'm not really open to it. I also find dating as an American in Paris, that a lot of guys here view American women as girls who are just in town for traveling fun. So I often match with guys, like, Oh, you're an American, you must be looking for some sexy fun with a French guy, for one night only. And I'm like, No, I live here. I'm looking for more than a little tryst. So I think that I'm a bit of an anomaly. I find that the more casual thing is easier to do online – way easier. I wish I was a casual girlie – there's nothing casual about me. So I'm happy to go on a first date. And even if someone says they're not quite sure what they want, I feel like I often fall prey to giving them the benefit of the doubt and thinking like, oh, maybe they don't know what they want yet. But that doesn't mean that they're closed off to something long term. And what if they meet me and I'm their person? And they're like, Wow, this is the person I want to be long term with. And I just haven't met them yet. So how can I know? I think I fall into that thinking a lot. And I'm often proved wrong by guys who just can't make up their mind. And being decisive is a trait that I admire. So I really need to stop doing that.

Do you feel a pressure to overly edit the photos you put on your profile? Do you feel like the female beauty standards are ramped up because of this need to grab attention to your profile and compete with other singles? 

Michaela: I think this one’s so interesting. I personally never looked at dating apps as competition. I think that if you are living in a metropolitan city and you've ever looked at who else is on the dating apps, the other women that are on the dating apps for the sake of this conversation, we are among gods and goddesses. People are beautiful. Their dating apps are beautiful. But I think for me, I really tried to approach it from a place that the person that was going to be attracted to me and wanted to be with me was going to see me for who I am and wouldn't involve me in some kind of competition or try to pit me against other women. And so with that in mind, that's how I curated my profile. So I never used edited photos, I always tried to use photos that I felt like really portrayed what I look like and who I am, in hopes that when I showed up, they would maybe even think I was more beautiful or funny or more intelligent in person, versus potentially more attractive or more interesting on my profile.

Hannah: Up until last year, when I became a full time content creator, I've actually never edited a picture or a video of myself. It's just something that I never thought about. The only person I compete with is myself, period. I love my bare skin and my natural body. And that's what people are gonna see. Due to my body type being over sexualized, I did not post any full body pics in tight clothing on my dating profiles. It was mostly no makeup selfies and full body pics with flowy dresses.

Zoey: It's very funny – I don't even think about the fact that there are other women on dating apps. I really just think it's just me in the sea of men and I forget that there are other girls who use it too. But yeah, I don't really feel the need to edit my pictures much at all. Like I'm not FaceTuning or photoshopping anything about myself. Because again, I want someone to have a very honest portrayal of who I am. I've seen TikToks of girls doing like, this is my catfish makeup and this is how I edit the picture and this is the picture of myself that gets the most likes on Hinge and *hiccups* Oh, excuse me - I have a hiccup. And I'm just very, like, wow, I didn't realize people were editing their pictures so much on the dating apps, I don't do that at all.

Alyx: I will say beauty standards are definitely ramped up. And it does feel really competitive. I've done a lot of self work lately over therapy, that's kind of helped me realize my own beauty and my own self worth, inside and out. And like having a match used to validate me, but I'm like, You know what, these people would be so lucky to date me. I'm successful. I am beautiful. I am unique. I have a lot to bring to the table so anyone would be so lucky to date me type of vibe. So making sure you're taking care of your mental health. And if seeing all the other people online is impacting your mental health, you should definitely take a step back and you shouldn't let it affect your opinions of yourself or make you self-conscious.

Cynthia: I really just don't like the idea of leading with looks and as a woman, I find it really corny when men see a picture of you and just shower you with compliments, like everything that they say about you from that point forward is about your looks. You're so beautiful. You're sort of gorgeous. For me, it's corny – I don't like to hear it. So that really informed how I presented myself online. Just very chill, very casual.

Kayla: I absolutely feel this pressure. I think in swipe culture, you are fighting for your life to make an impression in about three to five seconds. And there's this crazy dichotomy of like, do I post my best, most flawless version of myself to attract more potentials, but then risk setting an unrealistic standard that can't really be met when I show up in person? Or do I post me in my realest, rawest form and risk not attracting half as many potentials? And that's frustrating, I think online dating is a culture where first impressions not only matter, but they're really sort of all you get, and it does affect what you choose to put out there about yourself.

How does age play into your thoughts and experiences around online dating?

Barbie: If I see someone seeking a much younger partner or if they're lying about their age, to me, it simply means we don't align on what we're looking for in a relationship.

Kayla: So we all know society conditions men to feel like women's value and attractiveness inherently decline over a certain age. So a lot of the time in dating online it feels like you're bringing a banana into a gunfight. Like you're trying your best to set yourself up so well for this thing that's ultimately already been rigged against you just because of your age and there are years of stigma and conditioning that women are up against entering the dating pool in their 30s. And you just kind of have to hope that there are still some mature, grounded men left in the world that don't think that way.

Zoey: I'm 28. I often go for guys in their 30s because I'm under the misguided assumption that being in your 30s means they'll have their shit together, which is not the case. I'm trying to unlearn this. But because I'm open to the guys in their 30s, that also means guys who are even older than that are lying about being in their 30s. I've often dated guys who are on the higher end of the 30 spectrum or guys who are in their 40s and lying about being in their 30s. Even if I didn't know their age, I would feel a disconnect of the age gap hindering our ability to connect. I think one of my more recent stories is I'm 28 and went to a date a few dates with a guy who was 38. We talked about what we do, what we've been up to, just getting to know you questions. But then once we were like, Okay, now we know our backgrounds. What are we into? What do we like? And it's like, oh my gosh, we don't listen to any of the same music. He hasn't heard of any of the shows I like. I can't reference things that I often reference with friends. This person does not even know what TikTok is. A big age gap is never the best for me. I think I need something a little bit closer. And I think people who lie about their age to get a larger pool of options are not really respecting the person who set those age limits on their search for a reason. If I'm setting my limit to six or seven years older than me, it's because any older than that, I really don't think we're gonna have enough to talk about and it's not out of ignorance that I'm taking that stance, it's because I've gone on dates with guys who are older and often we don't have a lot to relate on and talk about.

When you think about the limits of online dating, i.e. the amount of information a profile can show texts, introductions, etc., what do you think is lost? 

Halleta: Okay, I think so much is lost. The way someone moves through the world is missing for sure. Someone's profile is like the door. It's like, Do I want to open this door? I'll open this door but I have no fucking clue what's going to be in this room. So I have to take the chance but if I liked this door, maybe this is a chance that I really like this room.